Unchurched Harry and Mary

You’re in the car, in an unfamiliar area, on your way to see a friend who has invited you to dinner. Your MapQuest directions aren’t exactly helping and now you’re lost. So, you get out your phone and call him. He picks up and you explain to him that you’re lost. Question: What is the first question he is going to ask you? That’s right: “Where are you?” Before he can guide you he needs to know where you’re at.  

The same is true if we are going to lead our unchurched friends to spiritual truth. You have to understand where they’re at. Certainly each individual has his or her own unique story. But there are some commonalities that reflect the average unchurched American living in Post-Modern, Post-Christian culture, according to Lee Stroble, author of “Inside of the Mind of Unchurched Harry and Mary.” His fifteen reminders just might be the directions we need to connect with a friend, co-worker, neighbor, or family member far from God:

1.     Harry has rejected church, but that doesn’t mean he has rejected God.

2.     Harry is morally adrift, but he secretly wants a moral anchor.

3.     Harry resists rules but he responds to reason.

4.     Harry has legitimate questions about spiritual matters, but he doesn’t expect Christians to have all the answers.

5.     Harry doesn’t just ask, “Is Christianity true?” Often, he’s asking, “Does Christianity work?”

6.     Harry doesn’t just want to know something; He wants to experience it.

7.     Harry doesn’t want to be somebody’s project, but he would like to be somebody’s friend who is accepted unconditionally.

8.     Harry may distrust authority, but he’s receptive to servant leadership and integrity.

9.     Harry is no longer loyal to denominations, but he is attracted to places where his spiritual needs will be met.

10. Harry isn’t much of a joiner, but he’s hungry for a cause he can connect with.

11. Even if Harry’s not spiritually sensitive, he wants his children to get quality moral training.

12. Harry and Mary are repelled by arrogance, but attracted to people who are humble and real with life.

13. Harry is proud that he’s tolerant of different faiths, but thinks Christians are narrow-minded.

14. There’s a good chance Harry would try church if a personal friend invited him.

15. Harry and Mary need you to start faith dialogues about a Creator whose ways are designed for their good, not church or religious tradition.

You don’t have to agree with their thinking, but you need to understand it. This will help you understand why I teach the way I do on Sunday mornings at BridgePointe. If we are to be a church that creates a safe place for our unchurched friends to explore faith, we must meet them where they’re at. This does not mean we alter spiritual truth, but it does mean that we consider how we translate it. You know you are off to a good start when you genuinely want to understand, before being understood. It is then that you will begin to connect with your unchruched Harry and Mary who are far from God.